STOP SHARING: IT'S SELFISH

Throughout my non-clinical counseling career, it’s been my experience that most people live with the brakes on. While THEY know what THEY want to do, they don’t want to…

-appear to be a know-it-all

-appear to be proud

-appear to be overconfident

But let’s be honest: appearing to be these sorts of things is something most of us were institutionally taught to avoid as children. We were taught the supremacy of SHARING which often meant that we were to…

-appear to be ignorant (when inside we knew we were right)

-appear to be humble (when inside we were frustrated that our genius wasn’t discovered)

-appear to be naïve (when inside we were very sure)

Here’s a picture of my wife and me this past week on our 17^th wedding anniversary. Several months ago, we decided to bring our lives to a screeching stop while we made important decisions we had been suppressing for years out of deference to certain people and certain communities. After literally HUNDREDS OF CONVERSATIONS these past five months, we were able to identify critical junctures throughout the last few years of marriage when we deferred to appearances or the whims of other people.

Not anymore. And we aren’t being ugly.

In the end it is each of us who are responsible for our lives. That means taking ownership over…

-the strengths we possess that others might find to be insignificant

-the appearances we orchestrate to please other people

-the vulnerabilities we are taught to cloak

Sharing, of course, is good… if the thing that you share REALLY belongs to you and is NEEDED by others. Sharing what you believe others want you to share hampers authentic growth and happiness. So stop blaming other people, and live YOUR life, please.

Do you want to know what you really have to offer?

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