KEEP PLOWING: THE SEVENTH LAW OF THE FARM

I used to think the world was a scary place. 

The day after I graduated was a sad day for me. I no longer had the immunity (excuse) of being a student. I slept for two or three days, thinking (dreaming, rather) about what my next move should be. 

I was looking at the Air Force for OTS (Officer Training School), but I couldn't get my diploma until I paid off my college debt (an agreement I made with my college).

So now the pressure was on. But I thought it would be easy. After all, I'm Robbie Grayson.

I can't remember how many business ventures I started my first year post-graduation:

-Shaklee (I got in under Don Stuart)

-Excel (I got in under Ron Baker)

-Tanger's Furniture (I depended on rides to and from work from my friend Joseph Contreras) 

-The Flip Factory (teaching gymnastics)

-Cutting hair (which was illegal in Florida without a license) 

In addition, I did some work for a Creation scientist & substitute taught at four different schools. All of this in a matter of a year. It looks like there was some confusion with which direction I should go. I eventually quit each of them.  

Like I said, I used to think the world was a scary place. Until I began to learn that its laws for prosperity were very different than society' laws (which are...)

-wealth without work

-pleasure without conscience

-knowledge without character

-business without ethics

-science without humanity

-religion without sacrifice

-politics without principle

A pretty long & conceptual list, isn't it? But Gandhi said this list would destroy us. 

I've reframed this list to reflect THE LAWS OF THE FARM (from a book my good friend Dwane Thomas of Visual Latin gave me). I'll use the example of plowing:

-where there is no plowing there is no harvesting

-want to plow, or you will plow because you must

-learn how to plow, or you won't know how to plow

-plow consistently, or you will harvest inconsistently

-if plowing becomes your life, you will have no other life

-be generous with portions of your harvest

I like the 7th law & wish that someone told me about it LONG AGO. It would have saved me a lot of time and trouble:

-when you've harvested so much that you feel you no longer need to plow, FOLLOW THE OTHER SIX LAWS OF THE FARM.

Does it really make sense that at any time in your life you will no longer need to plow? Ask a farmer!

Plowing will ALWAYS be work, but it CAN be enjoyable. 

Do you want to know what makes work enjoyable for you?

Click on the link below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER's Finding Your Hidden Strength: 

www.traitMarker.com

For more daily inspirations, like us at: 

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

NEEDY OR NOT, NO SHRINKING!

Several months ago I received a gift that literally dumfounded me: a Wingard painting (the regal lion in the photo above). While I've admired art in galleries and museums in the United States and abroad (my favorite is the Metropolitan in NYC), it never occurred to me to actually own an art piece of my own. 

Receiving a valuable gift like that brought back memories of all the awkwardness I've experienced when receiving gifts from others.

In December of 1994 I ran out of money at college & was unable to return for the spring semester. I stayed with an elderly widow in Fort Walton Beach, Florida for that winter (I couldn't afford to visit my home in Germany), and she learned about my situation. The day that I was to head back to college to clean out my dorm room, she gave me a blank check. 

"You're an honest man, Robbie. Fill in whatever amount you need. We can work out the details later." 

To this day I can't believe that I wrote it for only 1/4 of what I needed! Somehow I felt I was doing her a favor by not receiving the gift like she intended. Because of that, I struggled with college payments for the next two years.

The rule for me seems to have been The higher the value of the gift, the more unworthy I am to receive it. But why should I feel unworthy when it's not my gift to give but only to receive?

Maybe ...

-my being perceived to be in need is a scourge

-my taking is an admission of inadequacy

-my receiving is a form of slavery

Would you agree that everybody is needy at one time or another? 

If so, then is it true that people who are needy HAVE NOTHING OF VALUE? 

Here is a picture of my youngest child. She has no job, no money, and no experience in any field (other than being herself). Yet I will bend over backwards to make sure she has shelter, clothing, food, and love. I will make sure she's safe and happy.

AND THAT'S ONLY THE MINIMUM. 

And you know what? She doesn't apologize for taking the time I'm only too happy to give her. She doesn't shrink herself as small as possible because she's self-conscious about being cared for. 

What is most difficult to believe is that while our PERCEIVED VALUE might dip when we are in need, our TRUE VALUE doesn't.

Do you want to know your true value?

Just click on the link below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER's Finding Your Hidden Strength: 

www.traitMarker.com

For more daily inspirations, like us at: 

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

GET "SELFISH": AN ANTIDOTE FOR SOUL POISON

Above is a picture of me worrying. I can tell by the set of my jaw and the furrow of my eyebrow. It's a little ironic, isn't it... my carrying my youngest daughter on my shoulders, her being oblivious to it all? 

But there were reasons why my brow is furrowed and my jaw is fixed. There were YEARS of reasons...

-I was struggling to keep my fledgling school a-flight in a merciless economy

-I was "upside down" in my house in a ritzy community

-I was grossly behind on several payments.

I could go on. In fact, when I think about this day, I don't really even think about it. 

I feel it.

Here are a few other things I was doing that day:

Laundry...

Washing the kitchen floor...

Trampolining...

Looks like I'm being productive, doesn't it? In retrospect I can honestly say that each of these activities were DIVERSIONS from the acid that was slowly eating away at my soul. 

Acid? Eating away? Soul?

At the time of these photographs, I was reflecting on almost 13 years of investing in a community of people who in very damaging ways ended up not being what they projected 13 years before and all along. In reality, they were petty, grasping, devious, and effectively deceptive in convincing me that I had a place with them for as long as I lived.

But I'M the one who believed it. So I forgive them.

But should I be stupid again? 

I mean, aren't we supposed to trust? Isn't that what cultivates a genuine sense of safety and ease among people?

Yes, it does. But I was missing a basic element that my HEART was telling me throughout those 13 years but my BRAIN was conditioned to suppress: I was told that thinking about myself FIRST was selfish.

This hit me like a ton of bricks about a year ago on a flight from Baltimore to Nashville. I've heard it dozens of times from air stewardesses, but this time it finally made sense: 

In the event of an emergency and oxygen masks are deployed, put YOUR MASK ON FIRST. Then put your child's mask on. 

When do you get "selfish" like that?

WHEN YOU HAVE OTHER PEOPLE DEPENDING ON YOU!

-Have you ever wanted to tell your boss exactly what you think about him or her, but you refrained from it because you could lose your job?

-Have you ever wanted to tell someone who cheated you in business WHERE THEY COULD GO, but you refrained because it could jeopardize your clientele?

-Have you ever wanted to tell a caustic neighbor how petty they are, but you don't because it could cause you more problems?

Of course, you have.

Do you have others depending on you?

Of course, you do.

Do you want to know how you can put your heart first in every important decision?

Click on the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER: Finding Your Hidden Strength

www.traitMarker.com

Want MORE thought-provoking inspiration (for FREE)? Like us at:

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

MOVING AHEAD WITH THE ONLY LIFE YOU HAVE

I've been asked more than once Robbie, if you had to do it all over again, would you? Even though it's only theory, I know, it WRENCHES my gut each time. I might be like the time-traveling scientist in Michael Crichton's book TIMELINE who accidentally pops up in the wrong place at the wrong time and totally bungles up the future. I don't think I would be good at differentiating the RIGHT changes from the WRONG changes of the FUTURE that has already been my life (so far). 

I mean... 

-I hated moving to England as a child but had a life-changing, spiritual experience

-I disliked the college I attended, but found the lady of my dreams there

-I disliked watching my wife go through labor, but I have 6 amazing children

I can list a lot of hard times I've experienced...

-being jumped in Brugge, Belgium

-buying a sucky car from a sketchy dealership

-watching a student go downhill until he finally took his life

I think the question Robbie, if you had to do it all over again, would you? really means...

Robbie, if you knew the people YOU chose to be your friends and close associates would  make life difficult for you, would lie to you, would set you up for failure, would work against your honest efforts all the while smiling at your face, would pretend to be in close while watching you flounder from a distance, would YOU choose those people again to be in your inner circle?

That is MUCH easier to answer.

OF COURSE NOT!!!!!!!!!

But whenever we point a finger, aren't there four more pointing back at us (well, 3, minus the thumb)? I mean, most of the people I have let into my life I ALLOWED. Sure, many of the lame ones might have deceived, hoodwinked, sneaked, or bullied their way into my life, but my acceptance of them was the FINAL DOOR they had to walk through... and that door was controlled by ME.

Above is a picture of three of my friends. From left to right...

-Khristopher Miller is a graduate of Berklee College of Music & director of School of Rock

-Noah Henson is founder of Dredrock Music and lead guitarist for Pillar

-Brett Manning is founder of Singing Success & Brett Manning Studios 

I don't let these friends butt in the parts of my life where they don't belong, and in return I don't blame my failures on them. These are friends I HAVE CHOSEN to be friends because they have passed the test of my BS radar. When things go wrong in my life, I don't sulk about how badly I think they have influenced me. I also don't position myself to depend upon them in ways our friendship has not dictated. But I can do that because I KNOW MYSELF. 

Do you want to avoid...

-fantasizing about the WHAT IF's of your life

-wanting to fall asleep because your life is too painful

-wishing you had the guts to make a choice you know you need to make

??????

Click on the link below if you want to learn more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER: Finding Your Hidden Strength

www.traitMarker.com

Want MORE thought-provoking inspiration (for FREE)? Like us at:

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

STARTING OVER

Here are two of my children the weekend after Halloween. I caught them coming downstairs to dump their bathroom trash. You can imagine how surprised I was to see how full it was of candy wrappers and very little bathroom trash. 

As surprised as I was to see how much candy they had eaten, I was more surprised that they let the trash pile up all week. But I'm known in my house for being a neat freak (or an organizational dictator). 

I'm more lenient on my children than I am on myself. For me, the trash has to be taken out EVERY day. The idea of garbage rotting in the house or useless trash (useless to me) taking up space in my house is enough at times to give me a sleepless night.

But it varies for each of us. How often we...

-take out the trash...

-wash the dishes...

-fold the laundry...

-get our sleep...

When I taught school, OVER 70% of my students hadn't had a full night of sleep FOR A YEAR OR MORE! How long can a person go without sleep before they are absolutely useless to themselves and others? Sleep is nature's way of letting living things START OVER.

Sometimes life reminds me of walking through a boggy field of Aston, England. By the time you would reach the other side, you had SO MUCH MUD on your feet that it was impossible to walk any further until you somehow got it off.

Sometimes life seems more drudgery than enjoyment. You wake up one day (or one day long ago) feeling energized and so full of hope you can ALMOST imagine accomplishing your dreams.

But then...

-the baby gets sick...

-the car blows a head gasket...

-your boss needs more of your time...

Before you know it, a glitch of several days, several weeks, SEVERAL YEARS, has gone by and you are an exhausted, fretting recluse of your former self. And there seems to be no way out.

But what if I told you that you could start over TODAY?

Just click on the link below & watch my video about how TRAITMARKER can help you start over by understanding...

-WHO I AM (What I know about myself that others do not)

-WHO I AM NOT (What I know about myself that others think they know)

-WHO I AM BECOMING (What allows me to start over when I get stressed)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

And it's ONLY $20 for that kind of clarity! Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER's Finding Your Hidden Strength: 

www.traitMarker.com

For more daily inspirations, like us at: 

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

CHALLENGING YOUR OWN ASSUMPTIONS IS A SURE WAY TO SUCCEED

I've failed at a lot of things, and that is not an underhanded compliment. When I was in high school I noticed that I had a penchant for obligating myself to do feats of greatness in impossible timeframes. Believe it or not, I was hardly ever disappointed in myself when I didn't come through. After all, it wasn't about completing the task as much as it was about undertaking it in the first place.

You can imagine how that same mindset DIDN'T work for me in college. While I was an accomplished athlete and scholar, my attempts at sports and academics far outweighed my achievements. My German professor once had me come to his office to reprimand me for not doing my best. I was mortified. My heart rate soared, and my response (I forget what but it started off with something like "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE PUT INTO MY CLASSES...") startled him so much so that he put his hands up.

You can imagine how that same mindset DIDN'T work in marriage. In the first few years I learned that my wife and I didn't speak the same language. Largely influenced by her minimalist father, my wife didn't get the idea of "conceptualizing" out loud. Whenever I talked about how much money I COULD make, she expected me to come home with that exact amount. While I've made piles of money over my career, that pile pales in comparisons to the foregone commissions and budget projections made. Several years ago after almost losing my shirt in a business deal (and my house, and my job, and my family), I was finally brought up so short that I paid closer attention than I had ever paid before. 

WHAT WAS MY PROBLEM? Why weren't a fourth, a third, half... nay... even three quarters of my deals working out? Was I simply BAD LUCK?

After listening to a mentor at a local Waffle House one morning, I learned a sequence of words that made the puzzle-pieces of my career come together with frightening clarity. 

"ROBBIE, WE TEND TO BE MORE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT OUR OWN IDEAS THAN WE ARE  THE IDEAS OF OTHERS."

I was speechless, because, of course, he was correct! If Joseph or Tiffany come up with a brilliant idea to, say, open a bakery, my critical eye immediately sees the holes in the plan. 

-Why a bakery?
-What's the demand?
-Who wants to wake up at 3 a.m. to bake bread?

BUT WHEN IT'S MY IDEA, I'm more optimistic. 

-I've got a GREAT idea for a logo!
-People will love my marzipan cookies! 
-I know what color I want the inside painted!

Ultimately, it's this kind of uncritical selfishness that finds many of us pinching pennies at the end of the month or peeking out the window to see if our creditors have actually come to our house (I've had that happen before). While our business ideas are products of our hearts, heads, or hands, once it has been SPOKEN, it is no longer us. It is another person. 

So look at it that way.

If you are interested in learning more about CHALLENGING YOUR OWN ASSUMPTIONS, then click on the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER's Finding Your Hidden Strength: 

www.traitMarker.com

Like us at: 

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

YOUR PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE WRAPPED UP IN A BRAND CALLED YOU

I spent eleven years running my own alternative school. Starting a school is similar to founding a small country. You have a unique group who have rallied around you for this new venture, but the group doesn't have an identity yet. And it's YOUR job to help shape and articulate that identify. Like starting any business, that's a huge job.

For the first seven years of my school, I used a number of slogans, tried out a bunch of logos, and solicited hundreds of clients (and inadvertently chased off hundreds). In 2004 I experienced my lowest return from my branding and marketing strategies (I began with a deficit that year by losing my school building to a higher bidder and losing students to other schools. I spent one day courting investors who all declined. I remember sitting on the curb in the library parking lot, knowing I was ruined, and unable to go home to face my wife. The week before, all the stress produced my first white hair in my beard).

By the time I experienced some momentum after finally deciding on a logo, coining a slogan, and reeling in my customer base, and really REALLY knowing what I was doing, a wrench was thrown in the works. After all of that work, I now REALLY understood what I was doing and it WASN'T the thing I had FINALLY decided on!

I had been working on an algorithm for almost seven years that would help me decide 3 things about my customer. I wanted to know what my customer base liked about me, what they REALLY wanted from me, and what products and services they were likely to want from me in the future.

After several more years I finally realized something I had never noticed before. I realized that I wasn't really trying to understand my customer as much as I was TRYING TO UNDERSTAND MYSELF. When I understood that I was studying myself all along, my branding war ended. I realized that an important part of personality is 1) where you are, 2) where you were, and 3) where you are going. And those three strands were all wrapped up in the genetic code of my personality's DNA: me!

Click the video below to find out more about the 3 strands of your personality that I call your TRAITMARK.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER's Finding Your Hidden Strength:www.traitMarker.com

Like us at:

www.facebook.com/traitmarker