THERE ARE ONLY TWO SIDES TO THE COIN... IF YOU HAVE A COIN

Above is the photo of a friend of mine: Ralph "Malachias" Gaskin. 

I met Malachias through facebook about two years ago when I saw his profile picture, a distressing photo of a soldier being medevaced from a combat zone. I couldn't find out anything more about Malachias other than that we had a mutual friend. So I friended him. 

Within a week I was on the phone with him. Malachias had been deployed twice to the warfront and had been suffering from PTSD ever since his first deployment. I knew about PTSD, because I worked with students all of the time who suffered from childhood trauma. 

The more I talked to Malachias, the heavier I sensed the losses he had suffered...

-losing time with his wife

-losing time with his children

-losing hearing due to combat noise

-losing his health

-losing his temper

Malachias described to me one particular time how he lost his temper with his son. He reached such a state of rage that he had his wife take him to the hospital. He described to me the total lack of options he felt he had. I mean, most people have this option...

But that's only an option if you have a coin in the first place. 

Some people aren't working with coins. They feel they have one option and one option only... continuing down the road until they self-destruct. 

The latest stats say that more than 22 military personnel commit suicide a day. That's more than...

-8,000 lives a year

-160 lives per state

-almost 1 life each hour

Malachias tells a unique story about living with PTSD in the book he recently published. What has worked for Malachias hasn't been simply creating another option: it's been creating SEVERAL options so that he never is pushed again to the brink again with only one. Find out what those options are by getting his book: http://goo.gl/9ViMD1

You don't have to suffer from PTSD to have no options. You can simply work yourself into a very small corner with the monotony and drudgery of a passive existence.

Do you want to know how you can increase your options?

Click here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER's Assessing the War Within... A FREE ASSESSMENT FOR MILITARY COMBAT VETS (make sure you download the free ebook when you complete your assessment): 

www.traitMarker.com

Contact Sgt. Ralph Malachias Gaskin at:

https://www.facebook.com/AWarriorsGarden

If you are a vet & want a place to connect, like us at: 

https://www.facebook.com/TraitmarkerPTSD

For more daily inspirations, like us at: 

https://www.facebook.com/traitmarker

IT JUST MIGHT BE AN ALLERGIC REACTION

Notice that he isn't strapped down.

My son had been huffing and puffing the last few weeks of summer. We thought he had a summer cold. We thought it was the dairy he was eating. We thought it was the smoke from the summer bonfires we were having. So we...

-gave him cold medication
-restricted him from cheese and ice cream
-made him stay away from the woodfires...

NONE OF THAT WORKED. So we took him to an allergist. As I was said before, notice that he isn't strapped down.

What did we find? He's allergic to...

-wheat 
-tree nuts
-eggs
-horses
-dust mites...

But a strange thing happened (and it's related to his not being strapped down). My son was actually pleased with his diagnosis. His response?

Yay! I'm not allergic to dairy... I can have ice cream now!

For so long WE GUESSED WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HIM and ended up curbing very enjoyable experiences for him... 

-making him take cough syrup
-restricting yummy, summertime foods
-barring him from the bonfire

CREATING LITTLE FEARS IN HIM...

That little, wise boy didn't need to be strapped down, not because he wanted to know what was WRONG with him. He wanted to know what was RIGHT about him.

We all want to know what is RIGHT about us... OR SHOULD.

Do you want to know what is RIGHT about you?

Click on the link below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER's Finding Your Hidden Strength: 

www.traitMarker.com

For more daily inspirations, like us at: 

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

My 3-year-old insisted that she be visited by Krampus. So I indulged her!

Hopefully you got more than coal today...

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

from Robbie Grayson

TRAITMARKER Founder/CEO

www.traitMarker.com

KEEP PLOWING: THE SEVENTH LAW OF THE FARM

I used to think the world was a scary place. 

The day after I graduated was a sad day for me. I no longer had the immunity (excuse) of being a student. I slept for two or three days, thinking (dreaming, rather) about what my next move should be. 

I was looking at the Air Force for OTS (Officer Training School), but I couldn't get my diploma until I paid off my college debt (an agreement I made with my college).

So now the pressure was on. But I thought it would be easy. After all, I'm Robbie Grayson.

I can't remember how many business ventures I started my first year post-graduation:

-Shaklee (I got in under Don Stuart)

-Excel (I got in under Ron Baker)

-Tanger's Furniture (I depended on rides to and from work from my friend Joseph Contreras) 

-The Flip Factory (teaching gymnastics)

-Cutting hair (which was illegal in Florida without a license) 

In addition, I did some work for a Creation scientist & substitute taught at four different schools. All of this in a matter of a year. It looks like there was some confusion with which direction I should go. I eventually quit each of them.  

Like I said, I used to think the world was a scary place. Until I began to learn that its laws for prosperity were very different than society' laws (which are...)

-wealth without work

-pleasure without conscience

-knowledge without character

-business without ethics

-science without humanity

-religion without sacrifice

-politics without principle

A pretty long & conceptual list, isn't it? But Gandhi said this list would destroy us. 

I've reframed this list to reflect THE LAWS OF THE FARM (from a book my good friend Dwane Thomas of Visual Latin gave me). I'll use the example of plowing:

-where there is no plowing there is no harvesting

-want to plow, or you will plow because you must

-learn how to plow, or you won't know how to plow

-plow consistently, or you will harvest inconsistently

-if plowing becomes your life, you will have no other life

-be generous with portions of your harvest

I like the 7th law & wish that someone told me about it LONG AGO. It would have saved me a lot of time and trouble:

-when you've harvested so much that you feel you no longer need to plow, FOLLOW THE OTHER SIX LAWS OF THE FARM.

Does it really make sense that at any time in your life you will no longer need to plow? Ask a farmer!

Plowing will ALWAYS be work, but it CAN be enjoyable. 

Do you want to know what makes work enjoyable for you?

Click on the link below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER's Finding Your Hidden Strength: 

www.traitMarker.com

For more daily inspirations, like us at: 

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

NEEDY OR NOT, NO SHRINKING!

Several months ago I received a gift that literally dumfounded me: a Wingard painting (the regal lion in the photo above). While I've admired art in galleries and museums in the United States and abroad (my favorite is the Metropolitan in NYC), it never occurred to me to actually own an art piece of my own. 

Receiving a valuable gift like that brought back memories of all the awkwardness I've experienced when receiving gifts from others.

In December of 1994 I ran out of money at college & was unable to return for the spring semester. I stayed with an elderly widow in Fort Walton Beach, Florida for that winter (I couldn't afford to visit my home in Germany), and she learned about my situation. The day that I was to head back to college to clean out my dorm room, she gave me a blank check. 

"You're an honest man, Robbie. Fill in whatever amount you need. We can work out the details later." 

To this day I can't believe that I wrote it for only 1/4 of what I needed! Somehow I felt I was doing her a favor by not receiving the gift like she intended. Because of that, I struggled with college payments for the next two years.

The rule for me seems to have been The higher the value of the gift, the more unworthy I am to receive it. But why should I feel unworthy when it's not my gift to give but only to receive?

Maybe ...

-my being perceived to be in need is a scourge

-my taking is an admission of inadequacy

-my receiving is a form of slavery

Would you agree that everybody is needy at one time or another? 

If so, then is it true that people who are needy HAVE NOTHING OF VALUE? 

Here is a picture of my youngest child. She has no job, no money, and no experience in any field (other than being herself). Yet I will bend over backwards to make sure she has shelter, clothing, food, and love. I will make sure she's safe and happy.

AND THAT'S ONLY THE MINIMUM. 

And you know what? She doesn't apologize for taking the time I'm only too happy to give her. She doesn't shrink herself as small as possible because she's self-conscious about being cared for. 

What is most difficult to believe is that while our PERCEIVED VALUE might dip when we are in need, our TRUE VALUE doesn't.

Do you want to know your true value?

Just click on the link below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER's Finding Your Hidden Strength: 

www.traitMarker.com

For more daily inspirations, like us at: 

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

GET "SELFISH": AN ANTIDOTE FOR SOUL POISON

Above is a picture of me worrying. I can tell by the set of my jaw and the furrow of my eyebrow. It's a little ironic, isn't it... my carrying my youngest daughter on my shoulders, her being oblivious to it all? 

But there were reasons why my brow is furrowed and my jaw is fixed. There were YEARS of reasons...

-I was struggling to keep my fledgling school a-flight in a merciless economy

-I was "upside down" in my house in a ritzy community

-I was grossly behind on several payments.

I could go on. In fact, when I think about this day, I don't really even think about it. 

I feel it.

Here are a few other things I was doing that day:

Laundry...

Washing the kitchen floor...

Trampolining...

Looks like I'm being productive, doesn't it? In retrospect I can honestly say that each of these activities were DIVERSIONS from the acid that was slowly eating away at my soul. 

Acid? Eating away? Soul?

At the time of these photographs, I was reflecting on almost 13 years of investing in a community of people who in very damaging ways ended up not being what they projected 13 years before and all along. In reality, they were petty, grasping, devious, and effectively deceptive in convincing me that I had a place with them for as long as I lived.

But I'M the one who believed it. So I forgive them.

But should I be stupid again? 

I mean, aren't we supposed to trust? Isn't that what cultivates a genuine sense of safety and ease among people?

Yes, it does. But I was missing a basic element that my HEART was telling me throughout those 13 years but my BRAIN was conditioned to suppress: I was told that thinking about myself FIRST was selfish.

This hit me like a ton of bricks about a year ago on a flight from Baltimore to Nashville. I've heard it dozens of times from air stewardesses, but this time it finally made sense: 

In the event of an emergency and oxygen masks are deployed, put YOUR MASK ON FIRST. Then put your child's mask on. 

When do you get "selfish" like that?

WHEN YOU HAVE OTHER PEOPLE DEPENDING ON YOU!

-Have you ever wanted to tell your boss exactly what you think about him or her, but you refrained from it because you could lose your job?

-Have you ever wanted to tell someone who cheated you in business WHERE THEY COULD GO, but you refrained because it could jeopardize your clientele?

-Have you ever wanted to tell a caustic neighbor how petty they are, but you don't because it could cause you more problems?

Of course, you have.

Do you have others depending on you?

Of course, you do.

Do you want to know how you can put your heart first in every important decision?

Click on the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER: Finding Your Hidden Strength

www.traitMarker.com

Want MORE thought-provoking inspiration (for FREE)? Like us at:

www.facebook.com/traitmarker

MOVING AHEAD WITH THE ONLY LIFE YOU HAVE

I've been asked more than once Robbie, if you had to do it all over again, would you? Even though it's only theory, I know, it WRENCHES my gut each time. I might be like the time-traveling scientist in Michael Crichton's book TIMELINE who accidentally pops up in the wrong place at the wrong time and totally bungles up the future. I don't think I would be good at differentiating the RIGHT changes from the WRONG changes of the FUTURE that has already been my life (so far). 

I mean... 

-I hated moving to England as a child but had a life-changing, spiritual experience

-I disliked the college I attended, but found the lady of my dreams there

-I disliked watching my wife go through labor, but I have 6 amazing children

I can list a lot of hard times I've experienced...

-being jumped in Brugge, Belgium

-buying a sucky car from a sketchy dealership

-watching a student go downhill until he finally took his life

I think the question Robbie, if you had to do it all over again, would you? really means...

Robbie, if you knew the people YOU chose to be your friends and close associates would  make life difficult for you, would lie to you, would set you up for failure, would work against your honest efforts all the while smiling at your face, would pretend to be in close while watching you flounder from a distance, would YOU choose those people again to be in your inner circle?

That is MUCH easier to answer.

OF COURSE NOT!!!!!!!!!

But whenever we point a finger, aren't there four more pointing back at us (well, 3, minus the thumb)? I mean, most of the people I have let into my life I ALLOWED. Sure, many of the lame ones might have deceived, hoodwinked, sneaked, or bullied their way into my life, but my acceptance of them was the FINAL DOOR they had to walk through... and that door was controlled by ME.

Above is a picture of three of my friends. From left to right...

-Khristopher Miller is a graduate of Berklee College of Music & director of School of Rock

-Noah Henson is founder of Dredrock Music and lead guitarist for Pillar

-Brett Manning is founder of Singing Success & Brett Manning Studios 

I don't let these friends butt in the parts of my life where they don't belong, and in return I don't blame my failures on them. These are friends I HAVE CHOSEN to be friends because they have passed the test of my BS radar. When things go wrong in my life, I don't sulk about how badly I think they have influenced me. I also don't position myself to depend upon them in ways our friendship has not dictated. But I can do that because I KNOW MYSELF. 

Do you want to avoid...

-fantasizing about the WHAT IF's of your life

-wanting to fall asleep because your life is too painful

-wishing you had the guts to make a choice you know you need to make

??????

Click on the link below if you want to learn more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYg3iB5VvmI

Click the link below to take TRAITMARKER: Finding Your Hidden Strength

www.traitMarker.com

Want MORE thought-provoking inspiration (for FREE)? Like us at:

www.facebook.com/traitmarker